Lover Of Dining Mishaps Gifts

"No, no, no, my wife said she'll have a quiche!"

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"Charles didn't like tofu."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"Did you order the flying jalapeños?"

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'I'm sorry we put bearnaise sauce on your fillet by mistake. Randy will have it off there in a jiffy.'

'No, no... I ordered a tart, not a tort!'

"The scallops were delicious, but the fork was dismal!"

"Just keep your eyes closed - it'll only upset you."

'I told you not to order the stake.'

'That's weird. All this fortune cookie says is 'look out!''

'You ate the styrofoam, and left the meringue.'

'Are you sure you are not allergic to seafood.'

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

"Say when!"

"Arrrrrrrrr. This be bad."

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

'How about a drink?' 'You've got gravy.'

'I don't think your dad likes me, Angie.'

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

"How is everything?"

'Oh, sorry...so you ordered a steak sandwich?'

Murphy's Slaw.

"I'm sorry, the sesame peanut dressing is not agreeing with him."

Dining Infraction, Too Much Tabouli on the Tie!

'I don't understand it. I boiled the steak for 20 minutes!'

'We'll have to eat out tonight - the meatloaf turned on me.'

'We had to cancel the shish-ka-bob - Our chef isn't allowed to handle sharp objects.'

"I was looking at a food site, and I left the tab open overnight. Judging by the bugs, the food went bad."

'Will there be anything else, sir?'

"Waiter, there seems to be a toupee in my soup."

'You're right baby, throwing food is fun.'