Meal Mishap Enthusiast Gifts

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'I'm sorry we put bearnaise sauce on your fillet by mistake. Randy will have it off there in a jiffy.'

'No, no... I ordered a tart, not a tort!'

"Mum, the milk's trying to escape!"

"Just keep your eyes closed - it'll only upset you."

"The scallops were delicious, but the fork was dismal!"

'I told you not to order the stake.'

'I don't think it's cooked yet, but there's smoke coming out of the oven.'

'That's weird. All this fortune cookie says is 'look out!''

"No, no, no, my wife said she'll have a quiche!"

'Are you sure you are not allergic to seafood.'

'You ate the styrofoam, and left the meringue.'

Waiter, there's a wireless earbud phone in my soup.

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

'A fly in your soup, eh? -- Call me if it gets any worse.'

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

"I'm sorry, the sesame peanut dressing is not agreeing with him."

"And you say this was the serving suggestion?"

Murphy's Slaw.

"How is everything?"

Dining Infraction, Too Much Tabouli on the Tie!

'We'll have to eat out tonight - the meatloaf turned on me.'

'I don't understand it. I boiled the steak for 20 minutes!'

"I was looking at a food site, and I left the tab open overnight. Judging by the bugs, the food went bad."

'We had to cancel the shish-ka-bob - Our chef isn't allowed to handle sharp objects.'

'My wife always switches the smoke detector off when she cooks.'

"Waiter, there seems to be a toupee in my soup."