Dining Disaster Enthusiast Gifts

"How is everything?"

'I'm sorry we put bearnaise sauce on your fillet by mistake. Randy will have it off there in a jiffy.'

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"The scallops were delicious, but the fork was dismal!"

"Just keep your eyes closed - it'll only upset you."

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

"My dad ate my homework."

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'

"Of course it tastes like chicken. That's why it's called the 'tuna surprise'."

"Are you still waiting for the pancake to come down?"

"No, no, no, my wife said she'll have a quiche!"

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"No, he isn't choking. He coughed."

Chinese restaurant: In case of emergency break glass (Knife and fork).

Sneezing dragon.

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.

'Here we put the emphasis exclusively on the food!'

'How was the snapper, sir?'

'Tell Luigi to be a lottle more careful with the pepper.'

''Honey!...Have you seen the brussel sprout casserole I made for dinner tonight?'

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

"Gesundheit!"

Murphy's Slaw.

'Jeeves, you've made this soup taste like absolute s**t! Well done!'

"And you say this was the serving suggestion?"

Smelly fish.

"I'm sorry, the sesame peanut dressing is not agreeing with him."

"It's a tad undercooked."

"Here's to a clean start ..."