Dining Disaster Delight Gifts

'Will there be anything else, sir?'

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"I'm trying to decide between water and sunlight."

"Don't you just love it when they lick the plates?"

"My dad ate my homework."

"The scallops were delicious, but the fork was dismal!"

"How did you find your steak, sir?"

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'

"Of course it tastes like chicken. That's why it's called the 'tuna surprise'."

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

'I'll give you a tip mate, stop looking down my wife's dress'

"It's new. It's called a pre-tip. You pay me now and I'll actually bring your food before it's cold!"

"No, no, no, my wife said she'll have a quiche!"

'Freezer is on the blink.'

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

'How's the chilli today?'; 'Much better than yesterday - I think it had a good night's sleep.'

"Say when!"

Sneezing dragon.

'Waiter! -- this alphabet soup is making unwelcome sexual remarks!'

'How was the snapper, sir?'

'Here we put the emphasis exclusively on the food!'

'No, it's not that good, but it is that expensive.'

'Our chicken patties are beef and pork.'

"We also have pease porridge, hot or cold. Not terribly fresh, I'm afraid."