Dinner Disasters Gifts

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'What's your favourite operating system?' - 'I don't have one.' - 'Well, you killed that conversation.' - 'It deserved to die.'

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

"The scallops were delicious, but the fork was dismal!"

"Of course it tastes like chicken. That's why it's called the 'tuna surprise'."

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

'Are you sure you are not allergic to seafood.'

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

Chinese restaurant: In case of emergency break glass (Knife and fork).

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

'Here we put the emphasis exclusively on the food!'

"Is this dinner or the effects of global warming?"

Man Gagging In A Restaurant.

'How was the snapper, sir?'

''Honey!...Have you seen the brussel sprout casserole I made for dinner tonight?'

"And you say this was the serving suggestion?"

"Okay, let's eat."

"I'm sorry, the sesame peanut dressing is not agreeing with him."

"It's a tad undercooked."

Murphy's Slaw.

"How is everything?"

"Gesundheit!"

"It's burns night."

"Here's to a clean start ..."

"I didn't get the timings quite right, the meat will be ready next Thursday."

'I don't understand it. I boiled the steak for 20 minutes!'