Dinner Disasters Pillows

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'I'm sorry we put bearnaise sauce on your fillet by mistake. Randy will have it off there in a jiffy.'

'What's your favourite operating system?' - 'I don't have one.' - 'Well, you killed that conversation.' - 'It deserved to die.'

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'

"Just keep your eyes closed - it'll only upset you."

"The scallops were delicious, but the fork was dismal!"

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

"Of course it tastes like chicken. That's why it's called the 'tuna surprise'."

'Are you sure you are not allergic to seafood.'

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

Chinese restaurant: In case of emergency break glass (Knife and fork).

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

"No, he isn't choking. He coughed."

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"Is this dinner or the effects of global warming?"

'How was the snapper, sir?'

'Here we put the emphasis exclusively on the food!'

Man Gagging In A Restaurant.

''Honey!...Have you seen the brussel sprout casserole I made for dinner tonight?'

"I'm sorry, the sesame peanut dressing is not agreeing with him."

"It's a tad undercooked."

"And you say this was the serving suggestion?"

"Okay, let's eat."

"How is everything?"

Murphy's Slaw.

"Gesundheit!"

"It's burns night."

"Here's to a clean start ..."

"I didn't get the timings quite right, the meat will be ready next Thursday."