Dinner Disaster Debunker Pillows

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"The scallops were delicious, but the fork was dismal!"

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

"Of course it tastes like chicken. That's why it's called the 'tuna surprise'."

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

"E-cigarette or non e-cigarette section."

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

'Never trust a sommelier with a 750ml tastevin.'

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

"Is this dinner or the effects of global warming?"

'Here we put the emphasis exclusively on the food!'

Man Gagging In A Restaurant.

'How was the snapper, sir?'

''Honey!...Have you seen the brussel sprout casserole I made for dinner tonight?'

"Gesundheit!"

"And you say this was the serving suggestion?"

"I'm sorry, the sesame peanut dressing is not agreeing with him."

"It's a tad undercooked."

"How is everything?"

An Energetic Susan.

"Hello darling. I may be home late tonight. I've just got two potential contenders for the, 'all you can eat platter'."

"It's burns night."

'Dinner will be a little late -- I was overcome by the fumes.'

"Here's to a clean start ..."

'I don't understand it. I boiled the steak for 20 minutes!'