Dinner Disaster Pillows

''Honey!...Have you seen the brussel sprout casserole I made for dinner tonight?'

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'What's your favourite operating system?' - 'I don't have one.' - 'Well, you killed that conversation.' - 'It deserved to die.'

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

"The scallops were delicious, but the fork was dismal!"

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

"Of course it tastes like chicken. That's why it's called the 'tuna surprise'."

'Are you sure you are not allergic to seafood.'

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

Chinese restaurant: In case of emergency break glass (Knife and fork).

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"Is this dinner or the effects of global warming?"

'Here we put the emphasis exclusively on the food!'

'How was the snapper, sir?'

Man Gagging In A Restaurant.

"I'm sorry, the sesame peanut dressing is not agreeing with him."

"It's a tad undercooked."

Murphy's Slaw.

"How is everything?"

"And you say this was the serving suggestion?"

"Okay, let's eat."

"Gesundheit!"

"It's burns night."

"I didn't get the timings quite right, the meat will be ready next Thursday."

'Dinner will be a little late -- I was overcome by the fumes.'

"Here's to a clean start ..."

'I don't understand it. I boiled the steak for 20 minutes!'