Dinner Disaster Pillows

''Honey!...Have you seen the brussel sprout casserole I made for dinner tonight?'

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'I'm sorry we put bearnaise sauce on your fillet by mistake. Randy will have it off there in a jiffy.'

'What's your favourite operating system?' - 'I don't have one.' - 'Well, you killed that conversation.' - 'It deserved to die.'

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

"The scallops were delicious, but the fork was dismal!"

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'

"Just keep your eyes closed - it'll only upset you."

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

"Of course it tastes like chicken. That's why it's called the 'tuna surprise'."

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

'Are you sure you are not allergic to seafood.'

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"No, he isn't choking. He coughed."

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

Chinese restaurant: In case of emergency break glass (Knife and fork).

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

'Here we put the emphasis exclusively on the food!'

"Is this dinner or the effects of global warming?"

Man Gagging In A Restaurant.

'How was the snapper, sir?'

"And you say this was the serving suggestion?"

"Okay, let's eat."

"I'm sorry, the sesame peanut dressing is not agreeing with him."

"It's a tad undercooked."

Murphy's Slaw.

"How is everything?"

"Gesundheit!"

"It's burns night."

'Dinner will be a little late -- I was overcome by the fumes.'

"Here's to a clean start ..."