Dining Mishaps Pillows

'Are you sure you are not allergic to seafood.'

"Charles didn't like tofu."

"Did you order the flying jalapeños?"

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'What's your favourite operating system?' - 'I don't have one.' - 'Well, you killed that conversation.' - 'It deserved to die.'

'No, no... I ordered a tart, not a tort!'

"The scallops were delicious, but the fork was dismal!"

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

"Oh, very funny. If you don't like my cooking just say so!"

"No, no, no, my wife said she'll have a quiche!"

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

Chinese restaurant: In case of emergency break glass (Knife and fork).

'You ate the styrofoam, and left the meringue.'

"Say when!"

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

'A fly in your soup, eh? -- Call me if it gets any worse.'

Man Gagging In A Restaurant.

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

''Honey!...Have you seen the brussel sprout casserole I made for dinner tonight?'

"How is everything?"

'Oh, sorry...so you ordered a steak sandwich?'

Murphy's Slaw.

'This is a bit awkward, but we'll have the chicken.'

"The recipe said to stand in hot water for ten minutes."

"I'm sorry, the sesame peanut dressing is not agreeing with him."

"It's a tad undercooked."

'We'll have to eat out tonight - the meatloaf turned on me.'

Dining Infraction, Too Much Tabouli on the Tie!