Lover Of Dining Mishaps Pillows

"No, no, no, my wife said she'll have a quiche!"

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"Charles didn't like tofu."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"Did you order the flying jalapeños?"

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'No, no... I ordered a tart, not a tort!'

"The scallops were delicious, but the fork was dismal!"

'You ate the styrofoam, and left the meringue.'

'Are you sure you are not allergic to seafood.'

"Arrrrrrrrr. This be bad."

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

"Say when!"

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

'I don't think your dad likes me, Angie.'

'How about a drink?' 'You've got gravy.'

Murphy's Slaw.

'Oh, sorry...so you ordered a steak sandwich?'

"How is everything?"

"I'm sorry, the sesame peanut dressing is not agreeing with him."

'We'll have to eat out tonight - the meatloaf turned on me.'

'We had to cancel the shish-ka-bob - Our chef isn't allowed to handle sharp objects.'

'I don't understand it. I boiled the steak for 20 minutes!'

Dining Infraction, Too Much Tabouli on the Tie!

"I was looking at a food site, and I left the tab open overnight. Judging by the bugs, the food went bad."

'Will there be anything else, sir?'

"Waiter, there seems to be a toupee in my soup."

'You're right baby, throwing food is fun.'

"Don't worry about serving chicken to a vegetarian, Carmen. We all make mistakes. I once mistook a mop bucket for a soup pot."