Food Mishap Enthusiast Pillows

'You ate the styrofoam, and left the meringue.'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"Charles didn't like tofu."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

'No, no... I ordered a tart, not a tort!'

"The scallops were delicious, but the fork was dismal!"

'I don't think it's cooked yet, but there's smoke coming out of the oven.'

"No, no, no, my wife said she'll have a quiche!"

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

'Are you sure you are not allergic to seafood.'

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

'How can anything this bad be fattening?.'

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

'Jeeves, you've made this soup taste like absolute s**t! Well done!'

"And you say this was the serving suggestion?"

Murphy's Slaw.

"I'm sorry, the sesame peanut dressing is not agreeing with him."

"How is everything?"

'We'll have to eat out tonight - the meatloaf turned on me.'

Dining Infraction, Too Much Tabouli on the Tie!

'We had to cancel the shish-ka-bob - Our chef isn't allowed to handle sharp objects.'

'I don't understand it. I boiled the steak for 20 minutes!'

"I was looking at a food site, and I left the tab open overnight. Judging by the bugs, the food went bad."

Beefburgers - may contain traces of horse.