Kitchen Mishap Enthusiast Pillows

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

'I don't understand it. I boiled the steak for 20 minutes!'

'We had to cancel the shish-ka-bob - Our chef isn't allowed to handle sharp objects.'

Roasted

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'Ooops! No got that wrong, those two chemicals should never be mixed...'

"Mum, the milk's trying to escape!"

person wearing heatproof suit for cooking

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"What are you looking up, recipes for disaster?"

'I don't think it's cooked yet, but there's smoke coming out of the oven.'

"Oh, very funny. If you don't like my cooking just say so!"

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

"...Oh no, not you. You couldn't be satisfied with one saucepan..."

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

Dave's How to Puke Book.

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

"Arrrrrrrrr. This be bad."

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

'Well that seems conclusive, a soft fabric chefs hat is no protection against a 5L can of beans...'

'You ate the styrofoam, and left the meringue.'

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

'May I have your attention! I dropped my car keys in the soup, if you find them, please return them. They're my only set.'

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!

'Not to worry Flo - It's only Sid's dinner.'

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.

'Don't worry, it's all dark meat.'