Kitchen Hazard Enthusiast Pillows

Punch Initials - T

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

Roasted

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

'I know it's daring, but I always try one new recipe for Thanksgiving dinner.'

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

'Ooops! No got that wrong, those two chemicals should never be mixed...'

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

"You've actually done something even Gordon Ramsay can't do-burn the salad!"

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

person wearing heatproof suit for cooking

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

"Oh, very funny. If you don't like my cooking just say so!"

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

"What are you looking up, recipes for disaster?"

"Do you mind if your soup is a bit crunchy?"

"...Oh no, not you. You couldn't be satisfied with one saucepan..."

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

'Well that seems conclusive, a soft fabric chefs hat is no protection against a 5L can of beans...'

Dave's How to Puke Book.

"Ah, here you are... I see you made the mistake of tasting your own cooking."

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

Cutting onions

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!