Kitchen Safety Enthusiast Pillows

'Ooops! No got that wrong, those two chemicals should never be mixed...'

person wearing heatproof suit for cooking

'Well that seems conclusive, a soft fabric chefs hat is no protection against a 5L can of beans...'

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

Honest Vending

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

Roasted

'Don't worry it's organic...'

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

'Don't fill up on milk and cookies.'

"Uncle Tod's Reviews"

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'At these prices can't you afford a kitchen?' Burner at the table

Thank you for the wedding present.

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

"Are there any reports of illness at this table?"

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'Are you sure you washed this salad?'

"Yes...it may not be the Ritz, Rupert old chum but it's all good home cooked fare!"

"There's a free pudding for whoever finds the Chef's glass eye."

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

'Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.'

'And best of all, he really enjoys it.'

'I'll have the food scare of the day.'

'You want the chili? - Have you had all your shots?'

'How much just to feel sorry for it?'

Whistling Kettle