Kitchen Safety Enthusiast Pillows

'Ooops! No got that wrong, those two chemicals should never be mixed...'

person wearing heatproof suit for cooking

'Well that seems conclusive, a soft fabric chefs hat is no protection against a 5L can of beans...'

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

Honest Vending

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

Roasted

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

'Don't worry it's organic...'

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

'Don't fill up on milk and cookies.'

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

"Uncle Tod's Reviews"

Thank you for the wedding present.

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

'At these prices can't you afford a kitchen?' Burner at the table

"Are there any reports of illness at this table?"

'Are you sure you washed this salad?'

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

"Yes...it may not be the Ritz, Rupert old chum but it's all good home cooked fare!"

'Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.'

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"There's a free pudding for whoever finds the Chef's glass eye."

'And best of all, he really enjoys it.'

'I'll have the food scare of the day.'

Whistling Kettle

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

'How much just to feel sorry for it?'