Kitchen Safety Advocate Pillows

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

Power Toaster

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

Honest Vending

'Don't worry it's organic...'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

Frankenfish

Genetically Altered Salmon (and other foods) Research

"There is nothing dangerous about GM foods!" "Keep talking or we'll smash your head in"

At first, Moses was worried about the manna from heaven.

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

"But for an update in GM products in farming we have a spokescarrot."

"What do you recommend today?"

Quick, what's the five-second rule in dog years?

Food inspection results

Genetically-Modified Foods: Are they safe?

"Uncle Tod's Reviews"

Newspaper headlines - Butters kills, Margarine kills.

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

Grim Reaper with ChipsFries.

'Ooops! No got that wrong, those two chemicals should never be mixed...'

"Are there any reports of illness at this table?"

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'Are you sure you washed this salad?'

"There's a free pudding for whoever finds the Chef's glass eye."

"Aren't you worried you might poison your customers?"

"...and into each box, we now put a tiny amount of antidote to counteract all the additives."

'Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.'

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"It says it's 100% ground beef. Only bones, brains, butts and eyeballs. Absolutely no pink slime added..."