Clean Kitchen Advocate Pillows

"But everybody working in the kitchen today is bald. I don't know HOW you got a hair in your food!!!"

"Where do we put Desserts?"

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

Grandma's caf

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'Cleanliness is next to 'clean room' in the dictionary. Look it up.'

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

Cook in the cookery section.

"Well..I think the old Thermograph machine I rescued from work goes a treat with our kitchen units."

'I know my instruments are sterilized every day but I have no idea who does it.'

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

"I wonder what our self-cooking kitchen has for us today."

In the art gallery

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

'Isn't it great? It gives us four times the storage space as a regular fridge!'

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

'Don't fill up on milk and cookies.'

"And not only do I make my own pizza sauce, I have a special way of crushing the tomatoes!"

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

Tupperware Wolf

"Sorry, but it is not negotiable! You have to let Tim clean your teeth twice a day!"

Thank you for the wedding present.

Man brushing the teeth of his reflection.

'At these prices can't you afford a kitchen?' Burner at the table

Swiss Army Stove.

'Ooops! No got that wrong, those two chemicals should never be mixed...'

You missed a spot!

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'Are you sure you washed this salad?'

'Only peanut butter and jelly fingers, Sir.'

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'