Kitchen Hazard Enthusiast Mugs

Punch Initials - T

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

Roasted

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'I know it's daring, but I always try one new recipe for Thanksgiving dinner.'

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

'Ooops! No got that wrong, those two chemicals should never be mixed...'

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

"You've actually done something even Gordon Ramsay can't do-burn the salad!"

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

person wearing heatproof suit for cooking

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

"What are you looking up, recipes for disaster?"

"Oh, very funny. If you don't like my cooking just say so!"

"...Oh no, not you. You couldn't be satisfied with one saucepan..."

"Do you mind if your soup is a bit crunchy?"

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

'Well that seems conclusive, a soft fabric chefs hat is no protection against a 5L can of beans...'

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

"Ah, here you are... I see you made the mistake of tasting your own cooking."

Dave's How to Puke Book.

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

Cutting onions

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!