Kitchen Mishaps Pillows

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

"The recipe said to stand in hot water for ten minutes."

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

"Oh, very funny. If you don't like my cooking just say so!"

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

Chef copy robot

Roasted

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'Do you want toast with that?'

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'Are you sure the recipe calls for a whole cup of good burgundy?'

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

"Mum, the milk's trying to escape!"

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

Dog reaching over top of counter to steal cookies.

"...Oh no, not you. You couldn't be satisfied with one saucepan..."

'Grate two hundred grammes of cheddar cheese...' - 'Uh-oh.' - 'Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...' - 'Cheese gives me nightmares.' - 'Argh!!! No!!! Make it stop!! I can't take the pain!! No!! Arghhhh!!!'

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

"Arrrrrrrrr. This be bad."

Dave's How to Puke Book.

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

'May I have your attention! I dropped my car keys in the soup, if you find them, please return them. They're my only set.'

Cutting onions

'A fly in your soup, eh? -- Call me if it gets any worse.'

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

'Not to worry Flo - It's only Sid's dinner.'

'I think the 'Super soft safety knife' may be a H&S step too far!'

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.