Kitchen Catastrophes Pillows

'It says to put the potatoes in a pan of water but it doesn't say whether to use still or sparkling.'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

Roasted

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

'Anybody for breakfast?'

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

'My hero!'

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'What we were about to receive has gone the way of all flesh.'

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

"You've actually done something even Gordon Ramsay can't do-burn the salad!"

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

"Oh, very funny. If you don't like my cooking just say so!"

Paramedics carrying a man away after his dinner.

"Do you mind if your soup is a bit crunchy?"

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

Dave's How to Puke Book.

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

'Call an emergency church supper! The freezer's gone out!'

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.

"I can hear the smoke alarm.Is dinner ready?"