Kitchen Catastrophe Crew Pillows

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Roasted

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

'Anybody for breakfast?'

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

'My hero!'

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

'What we were about to receive has gone the way of all flesh.'

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

'Is it still edible?'

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

"I know I said I was hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

Paramedics carrying a man away after his dinner.

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

Dave's How to Puke Book.

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

'Call an emergency church supper! The freezer's gone out!'

'Not to worry Flo - It's only Sid's dinner.'

"Your dinner will be later than expected, but how much later depends on where you go for it."

"There's been an accident in the kitchen." "I know, I've just eaten it."

"Honey, dinner's ready! I just have to find it."

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

'It finally happened. We have so many dishes in the sink with unidentifiable crud stuck to them that they spontaneously combusted.'

"Darling? When you said, 'they had a fire damage sale at the grocery store'..."

Smoke gets in your eyes.

"The recipe said to stand in hot water for ten minutes."

'Don't worry, it's all dark meat.'