Kitchen Disasters Pillows

'Don't worry, it's all dark meat.'

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

Roasted

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

'My hero!'

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

"You've actually done something even Gordon Ramsay can't do-burn the salad!"

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

"I know I said I was hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

"Oh, very funny. If you don't like my cooking just say so!"

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

'Is it still edible?'

"Do you mind if your soup is a bit crunchy?"

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

"Daddy tries to cook, but all his meals begin in a can and end up in one."

Dave's How to Puke Book.

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

'Call an emergency church supper! The freezer's gone out!'

'Stop complaining or I'll take you home and serve you some of my husband's cooking!'

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!

"There's been an accident in the kitchen." "I know, I've just eaten it."

"I can hear the smoke alarm.Is dinner ready?"

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.