Kitchen Disaster King Pillows

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Roasted

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

'My hero!'

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

"You've actually done something even Gordon Ramsay can't do-burn the salad!"

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

'3 hamburgers, 2 servings of fries, 1 vanilla shake...'

'Is it still edible?'

"I know I said I was hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

"Do you mind if your soup is a bit crunchy?"

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

Dave's How to Puke Book.

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"Daddy tries to cook, but all his meals begin in a can and end up in one."

'Call an emergency church supper! The freezer's gone out!'

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

"Honey, dinner's ready! I just have to find it."

"Iron Chef, my ass!"

"Your dinner will be later than expected, but how much later depends on where you go for it."

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!

"I can hear the smoke alarm.Is dinner ready?"

"Darling? When you said, 'they had a fire damage sale at the grocery store'..."

"There's been an accident in the kitchen." "I know, I've just eaten it."

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.

'It finally happened. We have so many dishes in the sink with unidentifiable crud stuck to them that they spontaneously combusted.'