Kitchen Disaster King T-Shirts

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

Roasted

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'My hero!'

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

"You've actually done something even Gordon Ramsay can't do-burn the salad!"

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

'3 hamburgers, 2 servings of fries, 1 vanilla shake...'

'Is it still edible?'

"I know I said I was hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

"Do you mind if your soup is a bit crunchy?"

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

"Daddy tries to cook, but all his meals begin in a can and end up in one."

Dave's How to Puke Book.

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

'Call an emergency church supper! The freezer's gone out!'

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!

"Iron Chef, my ass!"

"Darling? When you said, 'they had a fire damage sale at the grocery store'..."

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

'It finally happened. We have so many dishes in the sink with unidentifiable crud stuck to them that they spontaneously combusted.'

"I can hear the smoke alarm.Is dinner ready?"

"There's been an accident in the kitchen." "I know, I've just eaten it."

"Honey, dinner's ready! I just have to find it."