Kitchen Disaster Artist T-Shirts

'Is it still edible?'

"I know I said I was hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

"Dinner isn't ready yet. I haven't heard the smoke alarm go off."

"Changed our mind about the salad, did we?"

Is that pancake ready yet?

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

'This is my natural habitat.'

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

"Hello?"

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

'Oh, hi!... yes, we have another emergency... make it the usual, and you know the address!'

'...now pour the mixture into a baking dish...'

"You've actually done something even Gordon Ramsay can't do-burn the salad!"

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

"Larry's made new friends learning to cook. He knows everyone at the Recipe Emergency Hotline."

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

"The fire department ruined dinner."

"Do you mind if your soup is a bit crunchy?"

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

"Daddy tries to cook, but all his meals begin in a can and end up in one."

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

Dave's How to Puke Book.

"Well it's either my dinner or my shirt."

'It finally happened. We have so many dishes in the sink with unidentifiable crud stuck to them that they spontaneously combusted.'

"Honey, dinner's ready! I just have to find it."

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

"Your dinner will be later than expected, but how much later depends on where you go for it."

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.