Kitchen Catastrophe Artist T-Shirts

"Honey, dinner's ready! I just have to find it."

"Darling? When you said, 'they had a fire damage sale at the grocery store'..."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Cookbooks

Is that pancake ready yet?

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Roasted

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

'Anybody for breakfast?'

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

'My hero!'

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

'Oh, hi!... yes, we have another emergency... make it the usual, and you know the address!'

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'What we were about to receive has gone the way of all flesh.'

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

"Larry's made new friends learning to cook. He knows everyone at the Recipe Emergency Hotline."

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

"I know I said I was hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

"You've really outdid yourself this time. A real masterpiece!"

'Is it still edible?'

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

'This Marine Cooking School taught me a great recipe, Mom... you take one-hundred pounds of potatoes...'

Paramedics carrying a man away after his dinner.

"The fire department ruined dinner."

"The weatherman said it was important to stay cool but now I've got my foot stuck in the butter."

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

Dave's How to Puke Book.

"Well it's either my dinner or my shirt."

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.

"George! You forgot to put the top on the popcorn popper."