Kitchen Calamity Curator T-Shirts

"Larry's made new friends learning to cook. He knows everyone at the Recipe Emergency Hotline."

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

Is that pancake ready yet?

Roasted

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Bake off: Flan B

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

'Is it still edible?'

"You've really outdid yourself this time. A real masterpiece!"

"I know I said I was hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

"What are you looking up, recipes for disaster?"

To her, the four basic food groups are canned, frozen, fast and delivered.

'3 hamburgers, 2 servings of fries, 1 vanilla shake...'

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"...Oh no, not you. You couldn't be satisfied with one saucepan..."

"...when oil begins shimmering...stir in vegetables and cook until tender."

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

Dave's How to Puke Book.

"Honey, dinner's ready! I just have to find it."

"George! You forgot to put the top on the popcorn popper."

'Not to worry Flo - It's only Sid's dinner.'

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!

"Darling? When you said, 'they had a fire damage sale at the grocery store'..."

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

"Dinner isn't ready yet. I haven't heard the smoke alarm go off."

"Changed our mind about the salad, did we?"

All sizzle and no roast

"The recipe said to stand in hot water for ten minutes."