Kitchen Calamity Explorer T-Shirts

To her, the four basic food groups are canned, frozen, fast and delivered.

Roasted

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Bake off: Flan B

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

"Larry's made new friends learning to cook. He knows everyone at the Recipe Emergency Hotline."

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

'3 hamburgers, 2 servings of fries, 1 vanilla shake...'

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

"What are you looking up, recipes for disaster?"

"...when oil begins shimmering...stir in vegetables and cook until tender."

"...Oh no, not you. You couldn't be satisfied with one saucepan..."

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

Dave's How to Puke Book.

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

"Please don't tell me they're making broth."

'Not to worry Flo - It's only Sid's dinner.'

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.

'Do you mind if I smoke?'

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

'Something moved!'

Smoke gets in your eyes.

All sizzle and no roast

'You idiot! I said don't forget to thaw the turkey!'

"The recipe said to stand in hot water for ten minutes."

'Don't worry, it's all dark meat.'

"Is that your smoke alarm beeping?"

'Oh no, freezer's on the blink again!'