Kitchen Calamity Creator T-Shirts

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

Cookbooks

Roasted

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Disaster in the kitchen.

Bake off: Flan B

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

"Larry's made new friends learning to cook. He knows everyone at the Recipe Emergency Hotline."

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

"I know I said I was hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

'Is it still edible?'

'3 hamburgers, 2 servings of fries, 1 vanilla shake...'

"What are you looking up, recipes for disaster?"

To her, the four basic food groups are canned, frozen, fast and delivered.

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

'This Marine Cooking School taught me a great recipe, Mom... you take one-hundred pounds of potatoes...'

"...Oh no, not you. You couldn't be satisfied with one saucepan..."

"...when oil begins shimmering...stir in vegetables and cook until tender."

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"The weatherman said it was important to stay cool but now I've got my foot stuck in the butter."

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

Dave's How to Puke Book.

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

'It finally happened. We have so many dishes in the sink with unidentifiable crud stuck to them that they spontaneously combusted.'

"Honey, dinner's ready! I just have to find it."

'Not to worry Flo - It's only Sid's dinner.'

"Darling? When you said, 'they had a fire damage sale at the grocery store'..."

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!

"Dinner isn't ready yet. I haven't heard the smoke alarm go off."

"Changed our mind about the salad, did we?"

All sizzle and no roast