Kitchen Calamity Creator Gifts

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

Cookbooks

Roasted

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Disaster in the kitchen.

Bake off: Flan B

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

"Larry's made new friends learning to cook. He knows everyone at the Recipe Emergency Hotline."

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

'This Marine Cooking School taught me a great recipe, Mom... you take one-hundred pounds of potatoes...'

"I know I said I was hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

'Is it still edible?'

'That's weird. All this fortune cookie says is 'look out!''

'3 hamburgers, 2 servings of fries, 1 vanilla shake...'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Leak Soup. No, it's not a misspelling. The roof dripped into the casserole.

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

To her, the four basic food groups are canned, frozen, fast and delivered.

"What are you looking up, recipes for disaster?"

"...when oil begins shimmering...stir in vegetables and cook until tender."

"...Oh no, not you. You couldn't be satisfied with one saucepan..."

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

Dave's How to Puke Book.

"The weatherman said it was important to stay cool but now I've got my foot stuck in the butter."

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

"Honey, dinner's ready! I just have to find it."

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!

"Darling? When you said, 'they had a fire damage sale at the grocery store'..."

'It finally happened. We have so many dishes in the sink with unidentifiable crud stuck to them that they spontaneously combusted.'

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

'Not to worry Flo - It's only Sid's dinner.'

'Don't worry, it's all dark meat.'

All sizzle and no roast