Kitchen Calamity Curator Pillows

"Larry's made new friends learning to cook. He knows everyone at the Recipe Emergency Hotline."

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

Is that pancake ready yet?

Roasted

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Bake off: Flan B

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

"What are you looking up, recipes for disaster?"

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

'3 hamburgers, 2 servings of fries, 1 vanilla shake...'

"I know I said I was hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

'Is it still edible?'

"You've really outdid yourself this time. A real masterpiece!"

To her, the four basic food groups are canned, frozen, fast and delivered.

"...when oil begins shimmering...stir in vegetables and cook until tender."

"...Oh no, not you. You couldn't be satisfied with one saucepan..."

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

Dave's How to Puke Book.

'Not to worry Flo - It's only Sid's dinner.'

"Honey, dinner's ready! I just have to find it."

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!

"Darling? When you said, 'they had a fire damage sale at the grocery store'..."

"George! You forgot to put the top on the popcorn popper."

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

"Dinner isn't ready yet. I haven't heard the smoke alarm go off."

"Changed our mind about the salad, did we?"

All sizzle and no roast

Smoke gets in your eyes.