Kitchen Calamity Champion Pillows

Bake off: Flan B

Roasted

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Disaster in the kitchen.

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"Larry's made new friends learning to cook. He knows everyone at the Recipe Emergency Hotline."

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

'That's weird. All this fortune cookie says is 'look out!''

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Leak Soup. No, it's not a misspelling. The roof dripped into the casserole.

"What are you looking up, recipes for disaster?"

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

'3 hamburgers, 2 servings of fries, 1 vanilla shake...'

To her, the four basic food groups are canned, frozen, fast and delivered.

"...Oh no, not you. You couldn't be satisfied with one saucepan..."

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!

"Honey, dinner's ready! I just have to find it."

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

"Darling? When you said, 'they had a fire damage sale at the grocery store'..."

'Not to worry Flo - It's only Sid's dinner.'

'You idiot! I said don't forget to thaw the turkey!'

"The shrimp alfredo you made a few weeks ago?"

All sizzle and no roast

"The recipe said to stand in hot water for ten minutes."

'Don't worry, it's all dark meat.'

'Oh no, freezer's on the blink again!'

'Dinner will be a little late -- I was overcome by the fumes.'

I left the milk out in a sunny spot on the counter today. In this case "warm and fuzzy" is not a good thing.

'We'll have to eat out tonight - the meatloaf turned on me.'

Fire In Restaurant