Cooking Calamity Champion Pillows

Too much cilantro

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Roasted

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Bake off: Flan B

Disaster in the kitchen.

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

"Larry's made new friends learning to cook. He knows everyone at the Recipe Emergency Hotline."

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

'All our food is locally sourced.'

'I know you are doing your best, but it will be great when Pat comes home.'

'3 hamburgers, 2 servings of fries, 1 vanilla shake...'

"What are you looking up, recipes for disaster?"

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!

"Honey, dinner's ready! I just have to find it."

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

Sandwich Fail

Smoke gets in your eyes.

"The recipe said to stand in hot water for ten minutes."

"The shrimp alfredo you made a few weeks ago?"

All sizzle and no roast

'Don't worry, it's all dark meat.'

'Dinner will be a little late -- I was overcome by the fumes.'

Fire In Restaurant

'We'll have to eat out tonight - the meatloaf turned on me.'

"Prob-lo-Matic"

'Yeah, Hon - is the microwave supposed to glow redhot?'