Cooking Catastrophe Enthusiast Pillows

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Is that pancake ready yet?

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

Roasted

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

"Elaine! The avocados are ripe—what do we do? What do we do?"

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

"What are you looking up, recipes for disaster?"

Killer Apple Pie Threatens Earth.

"...Oh no, not you. You couldn't be satisfied with one saucepan..."

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

Dave's How to Puke Book.

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

"The recipe said to stand in hot water for ten minutes."

'Jeeves, you've made this soup taste like absolute s**t! Well done!'

'Don't worry, it's all dark meat.'

Smelly fish.

All sizzle and no roast