Culinary Catastrophe Connoisseur Pillows

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

Is that pancake ready yet?

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"My dad ate my homework."

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

"I've burnt the roast...Turn down the restaurant lighting a touch!"

Killer Apple Pie Threatens Earth.

Dave's How to Puke Book.

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

All sizzle and no roast

'Allors Monsieur, let's see... one fish meal... one phone call for the ambulance... that'll be 79,70.'

'You idiot! I said don't forget to thaw the turkey!'

'Jeeves, you've made this soup taste like absolute s**t! Well done!'

"Careful, I'm spilling your shrimp bisque all over the place."

Smelly fish.

'What d'you mean,Doris-you,ve burnt OUR dinner,and hers NEXT door,and hers NEXT door again and...?'

Smoke gets in your eyes.

Sandwich Fail

Murphy's Slaw.

'No, we can't pass it off as 'blackened' goulash!'

'I'd say he's tried Mrs Beeton's Recipe for a disaster.'

'Let's sit in front of the fire.'

'I'll never look at a cheese omelette ever again!'

"I'd say another twenty minutes before plating. We'll know once the swearing gets really desperate."

"I, uh, think I ruined your broth."

"Well,that must be a television FIRST-Delia Smith BURNING a roast!!!'