Culinary Calamity Enthusiast Pillows

Sandwich Fail

Smoke gets in your eyes.

Is that pancake ready yet?

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

Roasted

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'Oh, hi!... yes, we have another emergency... make it the usual, and you know the address!'

"My dad ate my homework."

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

"The fire department ruined dinner."

Killer Apple Pie Threatens Earth.

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"Well it's either my dinner or my shirt."

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

All sizzle and no roast

Murphy's Slaw.

"Careful, I'm spilling your shrimp bisque all over the place."

"The recipe said to stand in hot water for ten minutes."

Smelly fish.

'Allors Monsieur, let's see... one fish meal... one phone call for the ambulance... that'll be 79,70.'

'Jeeves, you've made this soup taste like absolute s**t! Well done!'