Culinary Calamity Enthusiast Gifts

Sandwich Fail

Smoke gets in your eyes.

Is that pancake ready yet?

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

Roasted

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

'Oh, hi!... yes, we have another emergency... make it the usual, and you know the address!'

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

"My dad ate my homework."

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

'That's weird. All this fortune cookie says is 'look out!''

"The fire department ruined dinner."

Killer Apple Pie Threatens Earth.

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"Well it's either my dinner or my shirt."

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

"I followed the recipe and this is where it led me."

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

Smelly fish.

'Allors Monsieur, let's see... one fish meal... one phone call for the ambulance... that'll be 79,70.'

All sizzle and no roast

Murphy's Slaw.

"Careful, I'm spilling your shrimp bisque all over the place."