Culinary Calamity Aficionado Gifts

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

Is that pancake ready yet?

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

Roasted

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"My dad ate my homework."

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

'That's weird. All this fortune cookie says is 'look out!''

Killer Apple Pie Threatens Earth.

Dave's How to Puke Book.

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!

"I followed the recipe and this is where it led me."

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

'Jeeves, you've made this soup taste like absolute s**t! Well done!'

Smoke gets in your eyes.

Sandwich Fail

Murphy's Slaw.

Smelly fish.

"Careful, I'm spilling your shrimp bisque all over the place."

"The recipe said to stand in hot water for ten minutes."

'Don't worry, it's all dark meat.'