Culinary Calamity Aficionado T-Shirts

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

Is that pancake ready yet?

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

Roasted

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"My dad ate my homework."

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

Killer Apple Pie Threatens Earth.

Dave's How to Puke Book.

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

'Allors Monsieur, let's see... one fish meal... one phone call for the ambulance... that'll be 79,70.'

Sandwich Fail

All sizzle and no roast

'Jeeves, you've made this soup taste like absolute s**t! Well done!'

Smelly fish.

Smoke gets in your eyes.

Murphy's Slaw.

"Careful, I'm spilling your shrimp bisque all over the place."

"The recipe said to stand in hot water for ten minutes."