Culinary Calamities Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Er, how long did you say you had been teaching Home Economics, Miss Jones?'

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

Is that pancake ready yet?

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

Roasted

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

Cooking With Pollock.

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

"All right, we straighten this out immediately! René threw the bouillabaisse at Jacques, no? The Jam-bon en croûte was thrown by Jacques at René, correct? The truite en gelée and the fraises des bois were thrown by François at Henri, and Henri threw the mousse au chocolat at François, and . . ."

"My dad ate my homework."

"You've actually done something even Gordon Ramsay can't do-burn the salad!"

Tsunami in the cooking pot.

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

'I told you we shouldn't have brought him.'

Chef chasing an egg.

'Hello, police? There's been a food fight here and I'm afraid the cheese got the worse of it.'

'That's weird. All this fortune cookie says is 'look out!''

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

"...Oh no, not you. You couldn't be satisfied with one saucepan..."

Struggling chef.

Ramsay's kitchen nightmare.

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"