Cooking Catastrophe Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Is that pancake ready yet?

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

Roasted

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

"Elaine! The avocados are ripe—what do we do? What do we do?"

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

"What are you looking up, recipes for disaster?"

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

Killer Apple Pie Threatens Earth.

"...Oh no, not you. You couldn't be satisfied with one saucepan..."

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

Dave's How to Puke Book.

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

'Don't worry, it's all dark meat.'

Smoke gets in your eyes.

'Allors Monsieur, let's see... one fish meal... one phone call for the ambulance... that'll be 79,70.'

All sizzle and no roast

Smelly fish.