Culinary Catastrophe Enthusiast Gifts

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

"You're the only one getting fat around here, Rex!"

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

Is that pancake ready yet?

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

'Oh, hi!... yes, we have another emergency... make it the usual, and you know the address!'

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

"My dad ate my homework."

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

"I've burnt the roast...Turn down the restaurant lighting a touch!"

"The fire department ruined dinner."

Killer Apple Pie Threatens Earth.

Dave's How to Puke Book.

"Well it's either my dinner or my shirt."

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

'Allors Monsieur, let's see... one fish meal... one phone call for the ambulance... that'll be 79,70.'

"Careful, I'm spilling your shrimp bisque all over the place."

'Jeeves, you've made this soup taste like absolute s**t! Well done!'

Smelly fish.

'What d'you mean,Doris-you,ve burnt OUR dinner,and hers NEXT door,and hers NEXT door again and...?'

Smoke gets in your eyes.

Sandwich Fail

Murphy's Slaw.

'No, we can't pass it off as 'blackened' goulash!'

'I'd say he's tried Mrs Beeton's Recipe for a disaster.'

'Let's sit in front of the fire.'

'We'll have to eat out tonight - the meatloaf turned on me.'