Culinary Catastrophe Artist Gifts

Is that pancake ready yet?

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

'Oh, hi!... yes, we have another emergency... make it the usual, and you know the address!'

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"I know I said I was hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

'Is it still edible?'

"I've burnt the roast...Turn down the restaurant lighting a touch!"

"The fire department ruined dinner."

Killer Apple Pie Threatens Earth.

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

"Well it's either my dinner or my shirt."

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

"Honey, dinner's ready! I just have to find it."

"Darling? When you said, 'they had a fire damage sale at the grocery store'..."

"I followed the recipe and this is where it led me."

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

Murphy's Slaw.

"Changed our mind about the salad, did we?"

'Allors Monsieur, let's see... one fish meal... one phone call for the ambulance... that'll be 79,70.'

"Dinner isn't ready yet. I haven't heard the smoke alarm go off."

'Jeeves, you've made this soup taste like absolute s**t! Well done!'

'What d'you mean,Doris-you,ve burnt OUR dinner,and hers NEXT door,and hers NEXT door again and...?'

Smoke gets in your eyes.

Sandwich Fail

"Okay, let's eat."

"Careful, I'm spilling your shrimp bisque all over the place."

'No, we can't pass it off as 'blackened' goulash!'

'Let's sit in front of the fire.'