Culinary Catastrophe Collector Gifts

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

Is that pancake ready yet?

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

'Oh, hi!... yes, we have another emergency... make it the usual, and you know the address!'

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

"The fire department ruined dinner."

"I've burnt the roast...Turn down the restaurant lighting a touch!"

Killer Apple Pie Threatens Earth.

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"Well it's either my dinner or my shirt."

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

"Darling? When you said, 'they had a fire damage sale at the grocery store'..."

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

"Honey, dinner's ready! I just have to find it."

"I followed the recipe and this is where it led me."

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

"Careful, I'm spilling your shrimp bisque all over the place."

'Allors Monsieur, let's see... one fish meal... one phone call for the ambulance... that'll be 79,70.'

'Jeeves, you've made this soup taste like absolute s**t! Well done!'

Smelly fish.

'What d'you mean,Doris-you,ve burnt OUR dinner,and hers NEXT door,and hers NEXT door again and...?'

'You idiot! I said don't forget to thaw the turkey!'

Smoke gets in your eyes.

Sandwich Fail

Murphy's Slaw.

'No, we can't pass it off as 'blackened' goulash!'

'Let's sit in front of the fire.'

'I'd say he's tried Mrs Beeton's Recipe for a disaster.'