Culinary Catastrophe Gifts

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

Is that pancake ready yet?

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

'Oh, hi!... yes, we have another emergency... make it the usual, and you know the address!'

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

"My dad ate my homework."

"He cooks under the guidance of a smoke alarm."

"The fire department ruined dinner."

"I've burnt the roast...Turn down the restaurant lighting a touch!"

Killer Apple Pie Threatens Earth.

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"Well it's either my dinner or my shirt."

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

"I followed the recipe and this is where it led me."

"Could Doctor see him now-I have the dinner to cook."

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

'Jeeves, you've made this soup taste like absolute s**t! Well done!'

"Okay, let's eat."

'What d'you mean,Doris-you,ve burnt OUR dinner,and hers NEXT door,and hers NEXT door again and...?'

'Allors Monsieur, let's see... one fish meal... one phone call for the ambulance... that'll be 79,70.'

Smelly fish.

"Careful, I'm spilling your shrimp bisque all over the place."

Smoke gets in your eyes.

Sandwich Fail

Murphy's Slaw.

'What do you mean, the food is terrific?'

'I'd say he's tried Mrs Beeton's Recipe for a disaster.'

'No, we can't pass it off as 'blackened' goulash!'

'Let's sit in front of the fire.'