Culinary Catastrophe Navigator Gifts

"I've burnt the roast...Turn down the restaurant lighting a touch!"

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

Is that pancake ready yet?

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

"...when oil begins shimmering...stir in vegetables and cook until tender."

Killer Apple Pie Threatens Earth.

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

'Do you mind if I smoke?'

'Here we put the emphasis exclusively on the food!'

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

'Allors Monsieur, let's see... one fish meal... one phone call for the ambulance... that'll be 79,70.'

'What d'you mean,Doris-you,ve burnt OUR dinner,and hers NEXT door,and hers NEXT door again and...?'

'Jeeves, you've made this soup taste like absolute s**t! Well done!'

Smelly fish.

Smoke gets in your eyes.

Sandwich Fail

Murphy's Slaw.

"Careful, I'm spilling your shrimp bisque all over the place."

'No, we can't pass it off as 'blackened' goulash!'

'I'd say he's tried Mrs Beeton's Recipe for a disaster.'

'Let's sit in front of the fire.'

'Dinner will be a little late -- I was overcome by the fumes.'

'I'll never look at a cheese omelette ever again!'

"I'd say another twenty minutes before plating. We'll know once the swearing gets really desperate."

"I, uh, think I ruined your broth."

"Well,that must be a television FIRST-Delia Smith BURNING a roast!!!'

Pizza's Burning...