Culinary Disaster Artist Gifts

'We'll have to eat out tonight - the meatloaf turned on me.'

'Oh, hi!... yes, we have another emergency... make it the usual, and you know the address!'

'Now, honey, think real hard again...are you sure you read the directions for those cupcakes correctly?'

"Well it's either my dinner or my shirt."

"So, that's 'flambe'..."

"The fire department ruined dinner."

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

Is that pancake ready yet?

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'My hero!'

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"My dad ate my homework."

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

"I know I said I was hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

'Is it still edible?'

"He cooks under the guidance of a smoke alarm."

"Are you still waiting for the pancake to come down?"

Killer Apple Pie Threatens Earth.

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"Darling? When you said, 'they had a fire damage sale at the grocery store'..."

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

'Do you mind if I smoke?'

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

"Honey, dinner's ready! I just have to find it."

"Could Doctor see him now-I have the dinner to cook."

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

Sandwich Fail

"Changed our mind about the salad, did we?"

"Dinner isn't ready yet. I haven't heard the smoke alarm go off."

'Jeeves, you've made this soup taste like absolute s**t! Well done!'

"Okay, let's eat."