Gourmet Disaster Artist Gifts

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

Is that pancake ready yet?

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

Rats deserting a sinking ship

'My hero!'

"Hello?"

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

'Oh, hi!... yes, we have another emergency... make it the usual, and you know the address!'

'The casserole didn't make it.'

"My dad ate my homework."

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'

"Are you still waiting for the pancake to come down?"

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

"The fire department ruined dinner."

"I know I said I was hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

'Is it still edible?'

"I never use the oven timer. The smoke alarms are louder."

"Whoa! That's a lot of flame, Beth. I'll pick up a fire extinguisher on my way back from the gym."

:Time to check out a YouTube video?"

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"Well it's either my dinner or my shirt."

'It finally happened. We have so many dishes in the sink with unidentifiable crud stuck to them that they spontaneously combusted.'

"Darling? When you said, 'they had a fire damage sale at the grocery store'..."

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

"Honey, dinner's ready! I just have to find it."

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

Volcano and plane

"How did you know we were having pancake flambe again?"

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

The Origin of Volcanic Eruptions.