Dinner Disaster Artist Gifts

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Is that pancake ready yet?

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'Oh, hi!... yes, we have another emergency... make it the usual, and you know the address!'

"The scallops were delicious, but the fork was dismal!"

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'

'Is it still edible?'

"I know I said I was hungry, but I'm not that hungry."

"Of course it tastes like chicken. That's why it's called the 'tuna surprise'."

"Are you still waiting for the pancake to come down?"

"The fire department ruined dinner."

"Well it's either my dinner or my shirt."

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"Is this dinner or the effects of global warming?"

"Honey, dinner's ready! I just have to find it."

'How was the snapper, sir?'

"Darling? When you said, 'they had a fire damage sale at the grocery store'..."

''Honey!...Have you seen the brussel sprout casserole I made for dinner tonight?'

"And you say this was the serving suggestion?"

"It's a tad undercooked."

"Dinner isn't ready yet. I haven't heard the smoke alarm go off."

"Changed our mind about the salad, did we?"

"How is everything?"