Dinner Disaster Diver Gifts

"I didn't get the timings quite right, the meat will be ready next Thursday."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

Titanic: How's my steering.

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

How is your soup, sir? Speaking for myself, it looks pretty good. I can't speak for the fly, of course.

Diner. We're out of link sausages. Are patties okay? Any pork in a storm!

'I'm sorry we put bearnaise sauce on your fillet by mistake. Randy will have it off there in a jiffy.'

'Hey, Frenchie - you call this paupiettes de beouf aux legumes?'

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

"Just keep your eyes closed - it'll only upset you."

"The scallops were delicious, but the fork was dismal!"

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'

"Sure we could just print out the specials, but the chef doesn't want to leave a paper trail."

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

"We're well known for our freshly cooked food. Your order will be ready in a few minutes, Madame."

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

"Hey, guess what we're having for dinner tomorrow."

"Of course it tastes like chicken. That's why it's called the 'tuna surprise'."

Man walks into a restaurant with a sign saying "Billy Bob's Diner - We don't let the federal government tell us what to do with our tainted beef".

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"No, he isn't choking. He coughed."

"You asked for the soup of the day, you didn't specify what day."

Chinese restaurant: In case of emergency break glass (Knife and fork).

'Here we put the emphasis exclusively on the food!'

'How was the snapper, sir?'

'I think you'd better cut that guy off'

"Is this dinner or the effects of global warming?"

"Does your waitress have any identifying marks or tattoos?"

Man Gagging In A Restaurant.

''Honey!...Have you seen the brussel sprout casserole I made for dinner tonight?'