Dinner Disaster Enthusiast Gifts

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

'That was delicious! Do I have food on my face?'

"Just keep your eyes closed - it'll only upset you."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

'I'm sorry we put bearnaise sauce on your fillet by mistake. Randy will have it off there in a jiffy.'

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

"The scallops were delicious, but the fork was dismal!"

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

"Of course it tastes like chicken. That's why it's called the 'tuna surprise'."

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

"No, he isn't choking. He coughed."

Chinese restaurant: In case of emergency break glass (Knife and fork).

Sneezing dragon.

'Here we put the emphasis exclusively on the food!'

Setting fire to the Christmas Pud.

"Is this dinner or the effects of global warming?"

'How was the snapper, sir?'

'Tell Luigi to be a lottle more careful with the pepper.'

''Honey!...Have you seen the brussel sprout casserole I made for dinner tonight?'

'What do you mean, send out for pizza? This is pizza!'

"Gesundheit!"

"It's a tad undercooked."

How to watch television wo getting spaghetti sauce, , ,

'Jeeves, you've made this soup taste like absolute s**t! Well done!'

"And you say this was the serving suggestion?"

"I'm sorry, the sesame peanut dressing is not agreeing with him."

An Energetic Susan.